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I like that my phone no longer autocorrects the word “gurllll”
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 5/19/12 — 2:38pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyLn7Ytj
you would think that you would know that you were carrying a rotten banana in your backpack for two weeks in high school. that you had put the banana in the water bottle holding side pocket on your backpack, and that you had forgotten about it, and that it had rotted down into mush, and that for two weeks you just kept pushing your water bottle down on top of that rotten banana mush in the side pocket for two weeks, just continuing to smash it down, until you found it two weeks later as black mush. you would think you would know, instead of just wondering why it smelled like bananas everywhere you went for two weeks. you would think.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 4/19/12 — 10:24am Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyJwlj-L
lessons from punky brewster: an old refrigerator is not a good hiding place.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 4/17/12 — 7:12pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyJrph2P
burger king sent me a coupon for a free smoothie (no purchase necessary), thus giving me the only reason i’d ever be at burger king.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 4/13/12 — 9:28am Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyJbPXNB
i secretly judge people who don’t floss.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: Notes: 1 3/10/12 — 3:43am Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyHle9oi
when i was little, i caught a gnat in a plastic container and poured in some red decorative sugar for food. that same day, i let it go so it could be free, but not before think-speaking to it, “come see me every day at 4 p.m. after school. wait for me on my doorbell.” i was a weird kid.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 3/8/12 — 4:14pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyHguaVI
God grant me patience as i teach my parents how to use technology
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 2/29/12 — 11:46pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyHHJRjU
when i place my bids for raffles, my strategy is to put all my eggs in the basket that no one wants. at my high school senior raffle, everyone put their tickets in for the $100 cash prize. my two tickets were the only ones in for the water boiling kettle. guess who came home a winner.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 2/20/12 — 7:01pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyGmEM4f
a radio station was offering nickelback tickets as a prize. that’s all i wanted to say.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: Notes: 1 1/19/12 — 5:51pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyF2TuP6
i was using ant poison to stop an ant attack and then i saw a donut on the table. before i realized what i was doing, i used my ant poison-covered hand to eat the donut. my desire for a donut almost killed me. i don’t even like donuts.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 1/15/12 — 10:42am Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyEpTklw
i killed an opossum in my driveway. it was dark, and i thought i ran over a phone book. the next morning, there was a dead opossum in my driveway. a year later, a skunk was waiting for me on my doorstep. i think they were friends.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 1/10/12 — 5:00pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyEaYfLj
that panicked moment when you accidentally hit the “insert” key and everything you type starts eating everything else.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: Notes: 4 12/9/11 — 5:26pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyD21WFK
my cramps were so bad last night that i asked someone in my dream for advil
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: Notes: 1 12/6/11 — 9:02pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyCwDysL
the power is out at my house. so i write on my iPhone by candlelight.
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: Notes: 1 12/1/11 — 6:16pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyChcZ63
why are page numbers in magazines so completely unhelpful?
PRINT THIS POST WORDS: 10/31/11 — 9:02pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQ7yEyBMN-1a